Type 4's: Don't Wound Yourself by Believing You're Not Perfect!

You have a natural gift. And sometimes you use it to create an inner wound and keep yourself in a cycle of defeat.

While all 4 Types in my Energy Profiling system can wound themselves, a still, reflective Type 4 has a tendency to take the wound particularly deep.

A Question of Your Worth

Sometime in your life, you’ve asked yourself a version of this question:

Am I worthwhile?

You might wonder if you’re good enough, or if you’ve reached a high enough standard. A constant, still Type 4 can turn the answers into unnecessary self-criticism if they’re not careful.

How Your Answer Can Wound You

If you’re a still, reflective Type 4, then perfecting is your gift.

When faced with a question of your worth, you tend to drive this gift of perfection inward. You can create a deep wound by becoming deeply self-critical and feeling worthless.

You put standards in place for yourself and then run a constant comparison of yourself to whatever standard you’ve set. When you measure yourself against it, you tend to fall short, criticize, and beat yourself up. Wound, wound, wound.

When you’ve created a wound like that, you often feel you have to be even more perfect to make up for everything you’re not. But the attempt to do everything more perfectly just plays off a deeper lie that you are inherently not good enough.

It’s not true! You are incredibly worthwhile. You are perfect just the way you are. So, how do you stop hurting yourself?

How to Change the Pattern

You’re good at opening and cleaning out spaces. You can do that with your inner wound. Resolve the lie and clean it out. Open the levels of your being to the truth.

You are good at being committed to an idea, all or nothing. So commit yourself wholly to this truthful idea: I am worthwhile!

Notice what triggers your self-criticism. Which unattainable standards have you set for yourself? Use your critiquing skills to refine your standards! Set measurements based on the truth—that you are wonderful and worthwhile.

Watch the video to hear how my Type 4 son broke through a pattern of self-critique. And use Anne’s great tips on breaking your perfection into smaller tracks…

What do you think? Will these suggestions help you heal your inner wound? What other tips do you have? Please leave a comment.

Every time you go inward to beat yourself up, you rob humanity of a great gift. So, we don’t want you to wound yourself anymore!

Most Important: Remember Your Gift!

When you achieve your still, inner balance, you also bring balance to the rest of us. You can experience inner balance about your worth by committing to the truth. You are worthwhile—send that truth deep within you.

You’re good at perfecting things. Perfect the practice of feeling fulfilled. Perfect the practice of recognizing the worthwhile person that you are. Perfect the act of telling the truth about yourself.

You are capable of living perfectly true to your nature.

If you missed any part of this series, watch the other videos to see how the other Types in your life wound themselves: Type 1, Type 2 and Type 3.

(And if you’re new to Energy Profiling, learn all the parts and pieces of profiling with my book, online course, facial profiling videos and other resources. Receive them all together by purchasing the Energy Profiling Bundle.)

Carol Tuttle

Carol Tuttle is a teacher, speaker, healer, and best-selling author of five books. She has dedicated her life to helping people worldwide create the lives and relationships they desire. She blogs to support you in creating your ideal life.

Tell Us What You Think

  • Beth Holmes

    Thanks so much for this! It feels like you’ve gotten inside my head — how can you know me so well!! I do the exact same thing as your Type 4 son — I’m a Type 4 too. Today I am going to practice perfecting the process and breaking things into smaller tasks. I am also going to keep the thought “I am worthy to take up space in this world” in my head. I’ve been trying to embrace the thought that “I am enough” but haven’t quite gotten there yet — I’m always trying to improve myself. It’s tiring really.

    P.S. I am wearing white jeans after Labor Day with a black T-shirt and the DYT black and white leopard print scarf.

  • Joe

    Aloha! What a great video! As a type 4, I find that the biggest set back in my progress in life is the fact that I am constantly judging myself through other people’s thoughts. I find myself using other people and what I think they are saying about me to judge myself. I can see how allowing myself to find more fulfillment in what I am doing will help me clear this self judgement on a certain level. I will start today to start feeling the fulfillment of my accomplishments and go from there. On another note, Carol, you don’t happen to need another type 4 man to come and do a video on this very subject for type 4 men do you? I would love to come and participate in doing a video with you on clearing this issue of self judgement? Give me an email and let me know! Thanks for all you have done for me and my family.

    • Suzanna

      Words from a man! So glad to hear from you.

      • Tiffany

        Yes, it would be great to see Joe on a video!

  • kattalina

    this was great. Me being a type 4 in this system, as well a 4 in the enneagram system, can be ” heavy” bc of our intense feelings of self judgement . Thanks for this!

  • Suzanna

    I don’t really want to get too deep and emotional, BUT…

    Most of my life I gave myself deep and damaging wounds. After getting married it only got worse (I attribute this to the fact I married a high energy type 1 and I felt required to keep up). I never felt I would be good enough. I worked hard every day to be my best, yet every day I felt I would never succeed. Over a year ago a dear friend introduced energy profiling to me. I don’t know how she knew, but I believe it saved me and my marriage. My husband, a type 1, couldn’t really comprehend the struggle I was having, “Why don’t you just have fun? Lighten up!” were frequent comments. So, I assumed something was seriously wrong with me because he made those things sound so simple, yet they were very hard for me.

    This video was not new information to me, I had come to these conclusions through thoughtful critique of your book and videos. However, in conjuction with the comments from type 4s like myself, I truly know I am not alone. Many nights I cried on the floor of my shower, feeling so alone and…yes, crazy. I know you can imagine the relief, the weight that is lifted from my soul, to finally be able to admit that I am amazing, I am a gift, and I am perfect just the way I am. I am done thinking that I have to be a fun, high energy, laughing all the time, sort of person in order to achieve what I want in this life.

    Thank you for this life saving program, your wisdom, and inspiration. Too many people I talk to about energy profiling think it is all about clothes and spending money…which is interesting seen as how I don’t even mention those things, except for the dressing being like the icing on cake or the cherry on top of a sundae. Energy profiling is about healing and feeling free to be our true selves and also accept others for their true energy.

    Wow, this is wordy for me! I am just really passionate about this subject. Knowing this healed me, I want to share it with everyone and help everyone experience peace with themselves.

  • Susan Nelson

    Thank you Carol for the ‘big piece’! Although not formally profiled, I fit myself into a 4 with a 1 wing after reading your book. Always the entrepreneur/consultant with the ideas to rebalance & perfect others projects, companies, I was constantly deenergized when only part of the ideas were accepted & the big vision imploded. I felt I could have done more! This was integrating alternative practices into mainstream healthcare for 20yrs. Now, with this wisdom to heal myself from self criticism first!!I am bringing sound healing technology & energy medicine practices into corporations for employees to reconnect to Source, Love, & peace & their multi-dimensional potential with re-SOURCE rooms, and can enjoy the process for once! In fact, it would make sense to rep your book It’s Just My Nature for these onsite rooms so I will contact you while building the website to discuss. Thank you for being there for all of us in such a simple way. Wai Kahala Le’a (Streams of Joy) Suni Pele Nelson

  • Kathy Larsen

    I want to add something that has helped me as a type 4. I grew up as number 4 in a family of 10 children. Being still, quiet and reflective describes me well as I often sat and observed the movement going on around me. I watched the cause and effect of people’s actions. There seems to be a point in everyone’s life when they ask the question: “Do I have worth?” Because the type 4 is constantly evaluating to perfect, this question is asked often and is usually answered based on recent events where the outcome was less than perfect. (wound, wound, wound . . .)

    Type 4’s need to thoroughly understand that their worth is not determined by what they do. Because we exist, we are all worthwhile. Consider it our entitlement for being born. Again, our worth is not dependent on our failures or successes. We don’t have to qualify ourselves, it is just a given. Once this concept is placed as a foundation in our self perception, the question “Do I have worth?” will always be answered in the affirmative, and we move forward allowing our wounds to heal.

  • Tiffany

    Carol, I am reading some books about narcissism now, and I can see how easy it is for type 4s to hook into the incessant narcissistic thoughts of being less than, better than, not good enough, etc. over and over and over. Sometimes there are many head games going on inside me about my true motivation for suggesting EP or other tools to people, about the truth of who I am, etc. that it feels hopeless to ever get down to the core. Maybe because many T4s want to get to the truth, get to the real answers, that I am not the only one to deal with this or experience this. It just feels so crazy and is such a waste of valuable time!!

  • Jenna

    I’m guessing that I’m a 4/3 from what I’ve read online and seen in your videos. I’ve got the books coming, but haven’t read them yet. When you said at the beginning that Type 4’s feel that they aren’t worthwhile I thought to myself “of course I’m worthwhile, I know that.” And then when you were repeating that “You ARE worthwhile” I started tearing up. Guess I have something to work on there. 🙂

    I know intellectually that I have equal worth with all other people. It’s just seeing how far short I fall from where I feel I should be that makes me feel emotionally that I’m not good enough.

    Thanks so much for providing so many things to the general public without a fee. What a blessing.

  • anonymous

    I like this. as a T4 it can definitely creep in there. I like remembering I am a Child of God. … very healing