Still Single? This Could Be the Reason Why.

Whenever I meet single adults to discuss relationship issues, I ask a direct question: “Do you want to be married?”

In this mini-healing session, when I asked Tyson this question, he hesitated and couldn’t reply with certainty.

Find out the limiting beliefs and underlying resistance Tyson and many singles have toward getting married and starting a family.

Single adults, take note!

This mini-healing session is all about relationships and wrestling with the desire yet resistance to getting married—sure to resonate with a lot of single people.

Tyson is a dynamic 32-year-old TYPE 3SM man in my Energy Profiling system. His mother and sister are both TYPE 3 women in our Dressing Your Truth community, so they’ve shared the information with him.

I’m grateful to Tyson for his confidence to discuss this relationship experience from a man’s perspective. At a deeper level, he does want to get married and have children, yet he’s continued to resist it, causing challenges in his own life.

In the video, find out what (or who) motivated Tyson to come see me to discuss this—which actually revealed an energetic displacement that needed to be cleared.

He also presented some strong limiting beliefs about marriage that are also preventing the ideal partner from showing up in the first place.

I believe these issues are at the core for many single adults and you can start to change that today!

How have you addressed your relationship challenges? If you’re single, what kind of partnership do you want to create? Share your tips and comments below.

And if you’re happily married, share your story—what hurdles or beliefs did you overcome before getting married?

Seeing marriage as a more-powerful partnership

Is that even possible? Could marriage be better than being on your own?

It is when you hold the belief that a marriage partnership will only improve the quality of your life and make you a better person.

If you’ve resisted others pressuring you to get married, focus on shifting the energy and power back to yourself:

  • “I am in charge of my choice to get marriage.”
  • “I am capable of creating a great relationship experience.”
  • “I am excited to meet my ideal partner.”

Which list are you focusing on?

As I shared in the video, it’s quite common for single adults to know more what they don’t want in a relationship than what they do want. But when you focus on what you do want, you end up manifesting that in your experience even more.

If you’re single, start listing what an ideal relationship would feel like and look like for you. (You can even do this if you’re married and want to create more harmony and partnership with your spouse).

For more support, read my book Remembering Wholeness to assist you in creating what you do want. And check out my “Healing Your Relationship Issues” CD to help you clear your own challenges.

Carol Tuttle

Carol Tuttle is a teacher, speaker, healer, and best-selling author of five books. She has dedicated her life to helping people worldwide create the lives and relationships they desire. She blogs to support you in creating your ideal life.

Tell Us What You Think

  • Catherine

    This has made me certain my husband is a 3/2, Tyson reminds me strongly of him. My husband definitely wanted to get married though, he had definite plans for his life, and has achieved them all (so far!). Our relationship is a partnership, we do our own thing but support each other.
    He resisted his parents trying to keep him at home and make him their baby (he is the youngest of 4 kids) so set out on his own to do what he wanted with quiet determination.

  • Laurie

    I got married when I was 28. I felt like I wanted to get married earlier, but looking back I needed that time to really have that decision be my own. Something Tyson said reminded me of a belief that I had going into marriage that I have since changed. That belief was…I am responsible for the happiness of others. So I am responsible for the happiness of my spouse. I have since changed that belief to… I enjoy serving and showing love to my spouse. My husband is responsible for his own happiness. I am responsible for my happiness. When my husband and I both make efforts to do and be that which brings us happiness, we experience more happiness together. Now as a mother I hear myself saying that truth to my children..You are in charge of your happiness. It is liberating and empowering to believe that we can choose how we want to behave and feel. I know that it is difficult and I still catch myself getting caught up in my former beliefs. But, when I am aware, I step back and ask myself what I need to do to take care of myself so I can be the best wife, mother, and woman I can be. A little self care goes a long way and I am ready to go. I am excited for Tyson and admire his ability to know what he wants.

  • Alysha

    This is pretty much the same situation I was in for quite some time. My mom wanting me to get married more than I wanted to get married. Not that I DIDN’T want to get married, but because she was always so vocal about it I retreated from it. As a Type 4, I am my own authority and I didn’t want to be told what I “should or shouldn’t” be doing. I’ll be 29 next month and still single, not the most common situation in a culture where marriage and family are of high importance. I’ve always wanted to get married, but I’ve never felt sorry for myself or of less importance because I’m not married. And it’s only been within the last year that I’ve realized that I want to be married and have a family because its what I want, not to look good, or please anyone else. Hey Carol, maybe I’m the awesome girl that wants to show up in Tyson’s life 😉

  • Tyson Stevens

    Thanks for your insight and kind words, Laurie. I think that’s something that I still need to work on, “I enjoy serving and showing love to [people]. [People] are responsible for their own happiness.”

    Relationship wise, things have been going better. Carol’s insight and this mini-session helped quite a bit. Working hard to focus on what I do want and less on what I don’t.

  • Deepa

    Wow Carol! What a brilliant video. Not just for singles, but plenty of things for married people as well.

  • TessaW

    I got married at 19. Never regretted it (that’s my T4 bold convictions coming out!) and it has been such a blessing to have a husband whom I can lean on. He was also 19 when we got married and he would say that even though his wife (me) has depended on him more than he anticipated, it has been a privilage to be that pillar of strength in my life. It has been a growing process for both of us. We are now 28, married 9 years this summer, couldn’t be happier. We both agree that marriage gets better with time, if you choose to let/make it. I do still depend on him for a lot and he depends on me as well. But isn’t that what marriage is about? Needing eachother and, in turn, wanting eachother. We work much better as a team than we ever could apart. This doesn’t mean that we don’t have our own live or interests, it means that we choose to be our best when we are working together. We are a unit and will accomplish more together than we ever could on our own.

    As for kids, when people say it’s different with your own vs nephews and nieces, I think they do a disservice by not finishing that statement. If you think you love your nephews and nieces, just wait till you have your own. It is absolutely incredible how much deeper you can love your own kids! And how much more it makes you love and respect and admire your spouse. Words can even describe how amazing having children can be. They aren’t always easy, but they are always worth it. We’ve got two little boys and there is nothing more powerful for my husband than the fact that both of them want to be just like him when they grow up. I have no idea how our already full hearts will be able to expand to accept another child in a few months but I have no doubt that this coming child will have just as profound an impact as our first did. Just wait till you have your own, you’ll never regret it!

    My husband and I have said it for years: Marriage rocks and everyone should do it.
    Five years ago we started saying: Being parents is the greatest club you’ll ever belong to.

  • Cassandra Cleveland

    What a big hearted, sweet guy! Snatch him up ladies!! I was so touched by Tyson’s courage and honesty. Though my sons are only 19 and 17 I realized how true this insight is for me as a mother. My sons have never dated, their focus isn’t on that right now, and I’m completely ok with that. However, I realize I am probably much like Tyson’s mother in that I put my strong desire for them to having a loving support relationship, be married, and raise children onto them. Especially seeing how this relates to my own type 3 son and how all things in his life need to come from him, on his terms not mine, or he strongly resists. I want all of my children to know the joy my husband and I feel through being confident in ourselves yet supporting and nurturing of each other. To be there from the beginning, rather than years into marriage, would be such a blessing in Tyson’s (or any person looking for marraige) life. Best wishes!!

  • Eliza

    Tyson is pretty HOT! Just sayin…

  • T3Grrrl

    When I was very young (in my teens), I remember feeling the same way that Tyson feels. I was worried that if I was invested more than the other person, that somehow I would be at someone else’s mercy. That state does not lead to full intimacy with another person. To actually let someone fully see you is a sacred gift, and to fully see another is a gift to receive. After being married for nearly 30 years, and growing past that fear, when I see Tyson, I see someone that doesn’t want to invest himself deeply in a partnership, at least, not yet.

    I found it interesting that he said he said didn’t want to be tied down and smothered, responsible for another, but when asked what he wanted, he wanted to stay at home, be close, be near family, etc. Family, is by nature, a place where you are “looking out for” each other, where you care about another’s feelings, where you want their highest good for them, and you want for them, what they want for themselves. You are willing to support them in being that. You can hear their innermost desires, secrets, vulnerabilities, and you are willing to hold those within that sacred connection. And, someone is willing to do that for you too. In one breath he said he didn’t want that, but in another breath, he says that is where his heart really is. What he wants supported in himself, he needs to be willing to support in another. On some level, he might be picking needy people, so that he doesn’t have to be as invested as they are, for fear the power will be inequitable. When you do love someone and want to be married to them, you do care about their feelings as much as your own. It doesn’t mean you own or take-on their feelings, but you do care how they feel and work together to create a life that fosters happiness and growth. Doesn’t he want someone who will care how he feels? Hopefully, he will do the work needed to move through this and have a partnership in which he can fully invest himself. Relationship is where we can see our beauty and our gifts reflected back to us, and where our vulnerabilities can be shared without the fear of having someone use them against us, to be fully KNOWN by another.

    Also, as for kids, what a gift! It’s impossible to know before you have them, but, your kids are the coolest people in the world you will EVER know. Everything about them is amazing and engaging. The experience for me is that they were not from me, but through me. Amazing, wonderful spirits in their own right. Every age my kids go through, I think, “This is the BEST age. They are so amazing and awe inspiring” I am so happy they are sharing their presence with me!

    Good luck, Tyson! I hope that you find the beauty of yourself reflected back to you in another person that you can completely share who you really are, and that you can hold that space and reflect another’s beauty to herself and allow her to completely share who she is too. Godspeed!

  • Ruth

    opening yourself up to the possiblities in your life is scary but sooo worth it. Good luck on your adventure. It really can happen.

  • Ann

    Yes, I’m like that mom in Tyson’s life. I have three unmarried sons, age 29, 27, 25. Thanks for the message to us who need to lay off on the pressure. My next venture is…… can I entice my sons to watch the video?

  • Kristin

    I’lt so fun to have a guy on here on one of these sessions. I like this dude. Can we set you up with our friends?

  • R. Perry

    I really need to read “Remembering Wholeness.” Just watching this I feel a panic attack! I can relate to the feeling that marriage is a trap and would mean giving myself up and my husband expecting me to be responsible for his happiness (like in my last relationship). Although I think my mother and daughter want me to be married more than I want it. Hmmm.

  • Pingback: Know This One Thing To Make Your Online Dating More Successful - The Carol Blog()

  • Pingback: "Help, I'm over 30 and still single!" - The Carol Blog()

  • anonymous

    I’ve heard a few people over the years say that they believed that marriage would make them feel trapped, or somehow take away their individulality/identity. … When I first heard that belief I was SO surprized and puzzled. I hadn’t thought of it that way. I’m a pretty bold and independent person, and I do not enjoy being needy or having needy person’s depend on me. I guess if I believed I was responsible for THEIR happiness it would have felt like a burden and a trap! Yikes! What an exhausting belief to carry around! … Codenpendency is… yucky. Eek. I was fine and happy to not be married … then at age 20 I met my husband and married him ~ I married him because I had never felt more completely Loved and respected. And he was not needy. And we are best friends. … I think anyone who is fearful of co-dependent people, or co-dependent themself, would benefit an extrodinary amount from Dr Margaret Paul’s INNERBONDING.
    Article suggestions:

    – Not taking rejection, resistance and emotional distance personally.

    – Filling yourself with love so that you are not needy for another’s time and attention.

    – Speaking the truth about not wanting responsibility for another’s feelings – without resisting, attacking or distancing.

    – Taking loving care of yourself without anger or distance.

    – Taking loving action in your own behalf to ensure against engulfment.

    – Sharing love instead of trying to get love or avoid pain.

    When we enter a relationship as individuals who love ourself, and know ourself, and are doing well on our own … we are able to GIVE LOVE. Two people SHARING LOVE. Not going into a relationship to get filled up by another, that only drains them. We must FILL OURSELVES UP. And then it is BLISS. This is why people say you can not love another until you love yourself.

    GREAT Article about Co-dependency:

    … Parenthood on the other hand… well… that can leave a parent feeling drained and trapped, and they kind of are! The key is Self-Care, and Self-Compassion. But Marriage with the right person should be WONDERFUL!