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You Don't Need to Control Your Marriage

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I wonder if this will surprise you as much as it surprised Jeni.

Last week, I shared a mini-healing session with Jeni’s husband, Sean, who needed to feel respected and heard (if you haven’t seen that video, watch it here).

One of the reasons Sean’s own healing work will be so effective is Jeni’s support. She is honest with herself and she takes accountability for her own actions and energy.

In fact, when she heard that Sean needed to open his throat chakra, she had an instant reaction that surprised her. Jeni discovered  that her husband’s issues were really a mirror for her, showing her how powerless she felt—when she didn’t have to!

Experience Personal Power, Not Control: Energize Your Third Chakra

Your third chakra supports you in feeling you have personal power. When your third chakra is open, you feel that you are safe to act in the world and you have the power to do so.

Because Jeni was running an old story in her life, she felt powerless. In her attempt to take control and stay safe, she actually compromised and controlled her husband’s voice. It’s amazing how quickly she got it and owned it!

I’ll let Jeni tell you in her own words. Plus, energize your own power center with this easy exercise:

Isn’t Jeni refreshing? I’d like to thank her for being so honest here. Please leave a comment and share your thoughts.

Remember, you alone are accountable for your thoughts, energy, and actions. When you take accountability in your marriage, you honor your personal power for good.

Energize Your Solar Plexus Chakra

Jeni and I used these affirmations to help her energize her third chakra. You can use them, too:

  • Even though I’m believing I have to control others so I’m not controlled, I’m ready to change.
  • I know that’s no longer necessary. I’m ready to start giving it up.
  • I am safe. I am going to believe this now.

Tap on your third chakra. Say these statements out loud or in your mind:

I am letting go of…

  • …the fear of being controlled.
  • …men/women with a say controlling me.
  • …men/women with open throat chakras victimizing me.
  • …needing to compromise men/women to feel safe.
  • …having to compromise my spouse to feel safe in my marriage.
  • …needing to stay in control in my marriage.

Imagine your third chakra feeling strong and vibrant, and say these statements aloud:

  • I am experiencing my own authentic power.
  • I am safe.
  • I am safe in my marriage.
  • I am safe with my spouse having a say.
  • I am safe with my spouse having his/her power of voice.
  • I still have power and presence.
  • I have always been powerful and I am experiencing that authentic power.
  • I am in control of myself.
  • I am my own power, and it’s a power for good.

This exercise is just the beginning. It puts you in a frame of mind where you truly feel safe and capable of acting. And then you need to go do it!

You may not be able to hold a strong level of belief in your personal power for long stretches of time at first, so repeat this exercise whenever you need to.

PS. Want to know how your own third chakra is doing? Take my quick chakra test in only 3 minutes. Your results will show you how your subtle energy systems are affecting your life in important ways. Learn what they are and energize your life!

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Carol Tuttle

Carol Tuttle is a teacher, speaker, healer, and best-selling author of five books. She has dedicated her life to helping people worldwide create the lives and relationships they desire. She blogs to support you in creating your ideal life.

Tell Us What You Think

  • http://frequencyhealing.org Sarah

    I am a type 4 woman and I have noticed that, as I am doing more things to improve my life and be true to myself, organizing my time, having a set schedule, and controlling things like that, that are mine to control, I feel less of a need to control my children and husband. It’s been really nice.

  • sarah b.

    this is all so helpful and wonderful carol. i love these mini healing sessions. have you ever done any about divorce/adultry? it’s been three years and i still struggle with my part in it and getting over it and moving on. thanks for all you do :)

  • DW

    Several things including these videos have been coming to the surface and distilling into the rocket to launch me to make a big change. I used my own preferred method of changing limiting beliefs and releasing emotions and here’s what I had going on:
    From between the age of 2-5yrs a limiting belief that said, “in order to have power and respect in the world I have to be in partnership with a compromised man.”
    I had the image of myself as partner with someone less spiritual, less visionary, less “good” from around age 10.
    I had the trapped emotions of hatred and inherited insecurity. The hatred really resonates. I hate that partnership with a compromised man, and yet to fulfill the limiting belief, it had to be!

    How unfortunate for my DH that all these beliefs affected him greatly, but were in my field before we even met.

    All baggage and old beliefs removed and here is the new world where I now live.
    I have power in the world because I am.
    Others respect me because I live my truth.
    My DH is equal to me in security, creativity, power, compassion, truth, vision, spirituality and actions. I believe it 100% and its familiar.
    Woo Hoo. Celebrate!

    • Kat

      Thank you, DW, for your powerful affirmations; they helped me greatly!

  • Kat

    Thank you, Carol, for everything you do! This series with Sean and Jeni helped me immensely! I completely related to Sean. When I took your Chakra quiz a while ago, my Throat Chakra was closed as well!I am a Type 4 who felt disrespected and powerless in my first marriage. By the time it ended, I know longer knew who I was. Slowly, through much study and self reflection, I have regained myself and my power. I am now engaged to a wonderful Type 3/1 man, but still have been running my old stories about being a failure as a wife, not knowing how to live as a married woman, losing my power, being controlled, etc. I have been afraid of getting remarried. Your healing sessions are helping me reconsider the stories that I have been telling myself. I will continue to do both the Throat and the Solar Plexus interventions! Thank you!