The-Carol-Blog-Insights-14

Is This One Word Ruining Compliments For You?

You Type 4′s out there truly have a gift for perfecting the world.

Here’s the catch: you often put yourself at the top of the list of things that need perfecting…

…which means that you might dismiss compliments when you don’t need to!

I am always impressed by the precise, structured movement of Type 4′s in my Energy Profiling system. They know what they’re trying to achieve, and they have a clear picture in their mind of perfection.

But if you’re a Type 4, you know that you also clearly see where you still fall short.

I hope you’ll watch the video for my little reminder about how wonderful you are! And do you agree that you use this 1 word to dismiss compliments (even if you don’t say it out loud)?

Does that sound right to you?

I’d love you to share any tips we missed or things you’d like to add about your thought process. No matter what Type you are, I’m sure you have ideas to share about taking compliments—so leave a comment.

And then change that one word in your vocabulary!

My compliments to you amazing Type 4′s out there. I am grateful that you are able to hold in your mind the big picture of a more perfect world. And thank you for thinking through the Energy Profiling model so thoroughly and applying it to your life.

Miss any part of the compliment series? You can watch them all here and understand the important people in your life: Type 1, Type 2, and Type 3.

PS. Don’t know if you’re a Type 4? Discover your Energy Type with the Energy Profiling Bundle. When you know your Energy Profile, you learn how your true nature influences every part of your life. Learn how to manage your natural tendencies and create an amazing life!


Carol Tuttle

Carol Tuttle is a teacher, speaker, healer, and best-selling author of five books. She has dedicated her life to helping people worldwide create the lives and relationships they desire. She blogs to support you in creating your ideal life.


Tell Us What You Think


  • Kathy

    Thank you. I am guilty of the things you talked about and have recently been thinking perhaps I am losing my mind due to not being able to see things I love about myself and my life. I am very blessed and on a conscious level I know that. Many people close to me have been telling me to look at all the good and as you stated I have a difficult time with that since all I see is what’s not right. I appreciate the gentle reminder, without judgement.

  • http://holisticurologyblog.com Adrienne

    This totally resonates with me… although I’ve learned to accept compliments, I love the words you use. And the bit about sharing compliments is something VERY true that I hadn’t appreciated. Ready to spread the kindness that is within me :)

  • Carolyn

    I must be a type 4! I am very hard on myself and if I do something wrong, I will literally torture myself! I can’t stand it if someone I know doesn’t like me. I have always just wanted to blend in with the woodwork and not be noticed because I am so shy. I’ve always been hard on myself about my looks. If anyone says my outfit is pretty, I will say something like “this old thing”? or “I couldn’t find anything to wear this morning”. I don’t take a compliment well. Since I have gotten older and gravity has taken over, I am even harder on myself so I feel like they are just saying I look good to make me feel better, like flattery. I don’t know.

    • Randi

      We can all be hard on ourselves no matter what type we are. What you are saying sounds more like a type 2 to me because of wanting to “blend in” and not take the compliment at all, or a T1 because you can’t stand it if someone doesn’t like you. (4s seem to not be as concerned about being “liked”.) But only you can really tell that for yourself. All types are hard on themselves though, so don’t assume just because you are hard on yourself you are a 4. Look at the whole picture of the program.

      • http://caroltuttle.com Carol

        Hi Randi, try some things out and let us know what you come up with! Carol

  • Ronda

    Thank you for a purposeful lesson. Many people do not understand my “4ness”. It is great to be validated and to be taught in a way that honors my way of thinking and my abilitiy to make gentle coreections for improvement. You are a gifted leader!

  • http://thefluentbody.com Carol H.

    Thanks for a great series. I love the nuanced approach for each of the types in receiving and giving compliments. Wonderful teaching.

  • Dian Crystal

    People through the years have said to me so often, “Be easier on yourself.” This talk convinces me that indeed, I am a type 4. Reframing my gift of perfection as a gift makes me cry in acceptance of who I am.

    I have often felt a compliment was a manipulation and that the absence of one was a criticism. Perhaps it is all in the delivery.

    Blessings, Dian

  • Heidi

    Another WOW moment! That niggling at the back of my mind telling me I’m not good enough yet can be reworked to put into the process. Many thanks again!

  • http://www.lauridayscorner.com lauri day

    Oh my goodness that’s me! I never really thought of it as my type. Thanks for pointing it out. Will make a point to stop.

  • Karen

    All my life people have told me that I’m “too hard” on myself, and I’ve never understood what that means–it just felt like those words came from another planet. In my mind, I’m either doing well, or I’m not; there’s no “being hard on myself” if it’s the truth. I have always been extremely frustrated when people tell me not to be so hard on myself, because a) it reveals that people don’t understand me, b) it makes me feel like I’m too much for people/isolated if I’m true to who I am, and c) I DON’T KNOW HOW TO NOT BE so hard on myself. The very fact that they’re telling me this makes me feel like I’m failing, when I know it’s meant to be a supportive encouragement.

    I thought I was a Type 3, but now I am wondering if I’m a Type 4…and it makes me afraid. I don’t like what I see of Type 4. Theoretically Type 4s have something good to offer, but I feel like I can’t get past my lack to give what I have in a way that doesn’t make things hard for someone else. Sometimes I want to unzip my skin and step out. Being me makes me so tired. And THAT makes me feel like a failure, because I feel I should be happy with who I am.

  • Laura

    Many years ago, my mother helped me see that my very high expectations in life were creating a lot of disappointment for me. A few years ago, I read a Karol Truman book that helped me to accept my journey as perfect for me. This DYT information adds a new level of understanding because it shows me that my perfecting nature is a gift, not something to be suppressed. It frustrates my very sweet type 2 husband that I reject compliments. I am over 100 pounds overweight, yet people stop us in restaurants to tell my husband how beautiful his woman is. I don’t get it! I don’t see what they see. I hope and pray that dressing your truth helps me see what others are noticing. I want to embrace it, even though it embarrasses me! I will get there. Thanks for your support, Carol and Anne.

    • LYT Customer Support

      Thank you for sharing, Laura!

  • Sarah

    My desire to be perfect has really caused me to beat myself up in church. Once I thought about it, I knew logically that I could never be perfect in everything, and I didn’t want to constantly be frustrated. I found a way to fulfill my desire to be perfect by saying, “if I can’t be perfect in everything, I will try to be perfect in just one thing.” I decided the one thing I could be perfect in was tithing. I can allow myself imperfections in everything else because I pay a perfect tithe. I have changed my thought from “I am failing” to “at least I’m perfect in tithing.” of course, there are still times when I think, “who are you kidding? You have so far to go,” but most of the time, knowing I’m perfect somewhere helps with the imperfections everywhere else. (I’m typing on my iPad, so sory for a few typos).

    • Patricia Cardona

      Please don’t fall into the trap of performing or trying to be perfect in a religious sense. This will only make you fail to see God’s grace & goodness in your life. Might be better to perfect loving others unconditionally as you perfect receiving God’s grace & blessings & unconditional love into your own life. Just a loving suggestion for you.

  • Alice Ebony Angel Kent

    This happened to me today at the bank. This lady compliment me on how nice I was looking and I just could not accept it. I lost about 60 pounds after finding out I had diabetes. I could have said thanks but instead I told her that I could have looked better if I could lose more weight in my mid section. I did give her a compliment which is something I do all the time, if I see that a lady takes care of herself and see looks good. I let her know. I just have a hard time excepting a compliment, when it is given to me because I always think I can do better, when it comes to myself. It not just with how I look. If it is something about myself I think I can improve it and be better. I understand that it is a type 4 thing thanks to Carol Tuttle and the information in her books, which I love. I am almost 60 yrs. old and this is the hardest thing for me to do, but I am learning thanks to Carol.

  • Mcooks

    This is so interesting and really hit the nail on the head for me. I learned a long time ago to just say “thank you”, but then I usually do either say or think “but… “. Now I will work on just thinking “and” in my head. :-)

    Also, just this morning, I was thinking about how I am already critiquing whether or not someone else is Dressing Their Truth”, but really would rather just love the individual. I was thinking about how important it is to focus on the person’s eye’s and smile, because that really shows who they are, and is something that I learned a long time ago. Then, I watched the video and you validated what I said. I live in an area where most of the people are way too poor to buy the program, and they barely have access to the internet, so they won’t be able to buy the program. However, I want to be able to share small knitted gifts with them that honor their true nature. So, I’m working on focusing on getting to know each one, so that I can decide what kind of gift they would most enjoy.

  • JoAnn

    Thanks for this post! So very helpful. Loving coming to a greater undersanding of how to work out my inner workings. I came to a place a few years ago where I am comfortable with how I respond to compliments. If it’s about my character my response is, “Thanks for mentioning it, I am working on that. It means a lot that you said something.” If it’s about how great I look, I just smile and say, “Thank you, I appreciate you saying that.”

  • LiveYourTruthCustomerSupport

    That’s great, JoAnn! Thank you for sharing!