There’s plenty of advice out there about how to be yourself… especially around the opposite sex.

But a lot of that advice sounds like hard work. It shouldn’t be difficult to be your very best self!

Meet Leah. She’s a teenager who worries about turning into a drama queen when she’s with guys. In today’s mini-healing session, we get to the root of her anxiety. Leah has a lot to teach you about your own self-acceptance, no matter your age.

Being Yourself Goes Deeper Than a Date

Leah is an upward, light Type 1 in my Energy Profiling system—the only one in her large family.

And there’s a negative message she’s believing about herself that goes into overdrive when she’s dating. Watch the video to find out why she stops acting like herself. The reason might surprise you!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxPHSHEZnrI

What do you think? Do you have any other advice for Leah? Please share a comment.

How to Keep Being Yourself… Your BEST Self

You will be more successful in relationships when you stay true to yourself.

If you ever struggle with accepting and being yourself, just come back to the exercise Leah did with me. The affirmations I shared can be very supportive for you. Here are just a few to remind you:

• Even though I’m not sure how to stay true to myself, I’m trusting I will be able to.
• I’m perfect being who I am.
• It’s easy being myself in any relationship.
• I’m having fun dating; that’s all it is. It’s just dating and it’s perfect for me right now.

The best advice I gave Leah? Be where you are in the moment. Love yourself right now.

If you don’t know your Energy Profile yet, start learning today. Why? It’s the best tool around to help you understand and love yourself. Get all the resources you need with the Energy Profiling Bundle.

Blended families have unique challenges—and unique joys. I want to help you create more joy!

I’m joined today by a wonderful couple who will help you see how to create a more unified marriage and harmonious blended family. Sean and Jeni each visited with me a few weeks ago (to see what they learned about themselves, watch Sean’s video here and Jeni’s video here).

They’re here together now to talk about their goal for their blended family:

Instead of feeling divided in their parenting, they want to become unified and cooperative.

Watch the video for tips to strengthen your marriage and blended family. Plus, see Jeni’s two Aha! moments and something sweet that Sean recognizes and respects about his wife…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPyUCYW9TV0

What other tips would you add to create more peace in your family? Please share a comment.

Remember, there are plenty of challenges to work on in a blended family. Like I suggested to Sean and Jeni, I recommend that you work on one thing at a time.

For example, Sean and Jeni want to parent consistently. If this describes your situation, choose just one thing—something like bedtimes, homework, or chores. Come together as a couple to discuss what’s important to you and your spouse, so you each have a say.

And make sure to try out my other tips in the video. You’ll be surprised at how much your family’s dynamic will start shifting, just like Sean and Jeni’s.

I want to give you some added support for your own blended family. Check out my DVD and audio CD resources at caroltuttle.com—especially Intentional Parenting and Marital Bliss.

And if you haven’t discovered your Energy Profile yet, get going! It’s one of the most important things you can learn about yourself and your family. Check out the Energy Profiling Bundle here.

I wonder if this will surprise you as much as it surprised Jeni.

Last week, I shared a mini-healing session with Jeni’s husband, Sean, who needed to feel respected and heard (if you haven’t seen that video, watch it here).

One of the reasons Sean’s own healing work will be so effective is Jeni’s support. She is honest with herself and she takes accountability for her own actions and energy.

In fact, when she heard that Sean needed to open his throat chakra, she had an instant reaction that surprised her. Jeni discovered  that her husband’s issues were really a mirror for her, showing her how powerless she felt—when she didn’t have to!

Experience Personal Power, Not Control: Energize Your Third Chakra

Your third chakra supports you in feeling you have personal power. When your third chakra is open, you feel that you are safe to act in the world and you have the power to do so.

Because Jeni was running an old story in her life, she felt powerless. In her attempt to take control and stay safe, she actually compromised and controlled her husband’s voice. It’s amazing how quickly she got it and owned it!

I’ll let Jeni tell you in her own words. Plus, energize your own power center with this easy exercise:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GToQ-RsiTBY

Isn’t Jeni refreshing? I’d like to thank her for being so honest here. Please leave a comment and share your thoughts.

Remember, you alone are accountable for your thoughts, energy, and actions. When you take accountability in your marriage, you honor your personal power for good.

Energize Your Solar Plexus Chakra

Jeni and I used these affirmations to help her energize her third chakra. You can use them, too:

• Even though I’m believing I have to control others so I’m not controlled, I’m ready to change.
• I know that’s no longer necessary. I’m ready to start giving it up.
• I am safe. I am going to believe this now.

Tap on your third chakra. Say these statements out loud or in your mind:

I am letting go of…

• …the fear of being controlled.
• …men/women with a say controlling me.
• …men/women with open throat chakras victimizing me.
• …needing to compromise men/women to feel safe.
• …having to compromise my spouse to feel safe in my marriage.
• …needing to stay in control in my marriage.

Imagine your third chakra feeling strong and vibrant, and say these statements aloud:

• I am experiencing my own authentic power.
• I am safe.
• I am safe in my marriage.
• I am safe with my spouse having a say.
• I am safe with my spouse having his/her power of voice.
• I still have power and presence.
• I have always been powerful and I am experiencing that authentic power.
• I am in control of myself.
• I am my own power, and it’s a power for good.

This exercise is just the beginning. It puts you in a frame of mind where you truly feel safe and capable of acting. And then you need to go do it!

You may not be able to hold a strong level of belief in your personal power for long stretches of time at first, so repeat this exercise whenever you need to.

PS. Want to know how your own third chakra is doing? Take my quick chakra test in only 3 minutes. Your results will show you how your subtle energy systems are affecting your life in important ways. Learn what they are and energize your life!

Everyone in your family deserves respect… including you!

If you’re not feeling respect from certain members of your family, it’s time to look at how much you feel your voice is heard.

I’d like you to meet Sean. He and his wife came to me for support with their blended family and its unique challenges. As a Type 4 in my Energy Profiling system, Sean highly values his family’s respect. But he doesn’t feel respected when his input is ignored in important family decisions.

Be Heard: Open Your Throat Chakra

Your throat chakra supports you in feeling you can speak your truth. When your throat chakra is open, you feel that what you say matters to people and makes a difference.

Your throat chakra can weaken or close in settings where you do not feel heard or respected. In order to change that experience, you need to clear your limiting beliefs and energize new ones.

And you can do this today, whether you have a blended family situation like Sean’s or not.

Watch the simple exercise Sean and I use together to open his throat chakra:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqqWMb3COJw

How will you use this exercise to help create respect in your own home? Please leave a note with your own tip, or your appreciation with Sean for sharing his experience.

(And be sure to tune in next Monday to meet his cute wife! You’ll hear her Aha! moment about respecting and honoring her husband’s true nature.)

Energize Your Throat Chakra

Sean energized his throat chakra today. You can energize yours, too! Come back to the video or the affirmations below when you feel like your voice is shut down.

Place your hand on your throat. Say these statements out loud to begin reframing the current experience:

• I am no longer believing I don’t have a say in my family.
• I am no longer experiencing that I’m not respected in my family.
• I am no longer being compromised in the expression of my truth.
• I am no longer feeling like a failure as a ____.
• I am no longer believing I’m a failure as a ____.

Imagine your throat chakra opening, and say these statements to create the new experience:

• I am respected for what I have to say in the family.
• What I say matters and makes a difference.
• I am heard and making a difference in my family.
• I am succeeding.
• I am having a really honoring experience as a ___ and a ___.
• I am grateful that my wife/husband and I can come together and create mutually supportive decisions about our parenting and how to manage our family.
• I am experiencing more and more cooperation.
• What I say matters in my family.

You can change your thoughts and beliefs in just a moment. But remember that continued practice and support will create lasting change.

Respect yourself and your ability to be heard!

PS. Want to know how your throat chakra is doing? Head over to Chakra Healing to take my quick chakra test. Your subtle energy systems affect every part of your life in vital ways. Learn what they are and how to energize your life!

Children need emotional validation. If their negative feelings about what is happening in their lives are not validated, they may continue focusing on the negative until they are validated. Children can become pessimistic if they do not feel they are being emotionally heard.

As the parent of five children, I have learned to not skip the important step of emotionally acknowledging my children.

Before I realized how important this was, I was eager to try to quickly change their negative feelings and views of their life into positives.

Once you have validated your child’s negative feelings, you can give your child a choice: to continue to perceive his/her situation as negative, or to choose to change it to positive.The first choice teaches our children to be victims in a world of random events they are powerless to control. The second choice teaches them they have the power to change anything for the better.

One day, my daughter came to me expressing her negative feelings about a friend’s treatment of her.I could have quickly dismissed her feelings and encouraged her not to let it bother her, or joined her by saying, “That is terrible!She is so mean.”

I did neither. Instead the conversation went something like this:

Mom: ”That is unfortunate, Anne. You must feel really sad about the way she treated you.”

Anne: ”I do. I don’t like it when she treats me that way.”

Mom: ”I understand. Nobody likes to be treated that way. You deserve to have your friends love and respect you. When you are ready to clear these negative feelings, and would like my help, let me know.Or, you can continue feeling bad.But remember, whatever you focus on in life will cause more of it to show up as your experience.”

Anne: ”I want to clear these bad feelings right now and create a positive friendship with her.”

At this point, I took Anne through a process called “Emotional Freedom Technique,”which is designed to clear negative feelings and stressful energies that keep us from progressing.

I have taught my children that the law of attraction, or the law of the harvest (whatever we put out returns to us multiplied) constantly operates in their lives.If they put out negative thoughts and feelings, more negative experiences will show up in their lives.If they put out positive thoughts and feelings, more positive experiences will show up in their lives.

Anne understands this universal principle, and was eager to clear the negative thoughts and feelings and change them into positives. It was important that her negative feelings were acknowledged and validated first.

Most adults in our world were not emotionally validated as children. They were emotionally shut down or ignored. As parents we can do a much better job of validating our children’s emotional responses to their life events — free of any judgment. Once validated, those negative thoughts and feelings can be easily released and positive thoughts and feelings can be created.

After Anne cleared her negatives, she decided what she wanted to create was a fun-loving, kinder relationship with her friend.She helped put this into motion in her life by speaking what she wanted in positive “I am” statements such as this:

• I am experiencing all my friends respecting me and being kind to me.
• I am respectful and kind to all my friends.
• We have fun together and support each other.
• Things always work out the best for me.
• I am grateful for the love and support of my good friends.

After Anne’s energy-clearing session, she called her friend and easily made amends. Her friend was apologetic, they laughed and started planning their next activity. What Anne had asked for in her affirmations had already begun to show up for her.

Children model their parents’ language and perceptions of the world. If Mom and Dad are pessimistic, the children often are, too.If Mom and Dad are optimists who are willing to validate their child’s negative emotional responses to a situation, then help them change that, they play a powerful role in teaching their children they can have lives that are positive, and that they can look forward to many successes.

God Bless You,

Carol Tuttle

Learn powerful parenting techniques on Carol’s best-selling two-hour parenting seminar on DVD, Intentional Parenting: Raising Conscious Children that Understand and Use the Laws of Creation. Just click on the title to find this product and all of Carol’s life-changing books, CDs and DVDs.

If you give your marriage no attention, you will hardly have a marriage. If you give your marriage mediocre attention, you will have a mediocre marriage. If you make it a priority and give it regular, positive attention, it will thrive. Maybe it is time to “spring clean” your marriage. To bring a fresh new energy to your marriage try doing all or some of the following:

1.  Make a commitment to go on a “date-night” once a week. Spending time alone together on a regular basis will rejuvenate your marriage

2.   Tell your spouse all the wonderful things you wish they would say to you.

3.  Create a new script for them by writing in detail what you believe your ideal companion would be like. Live by that script yourself.

4.   Ask each other what one thing you say or do that hurts them deeply. Choose never to say or do it again.

5.  Stop talking about what’s not working or what you don’t want. Start talking about what’s working and what you want more of.

6.  Choose to say only positive things to others about your spouse.

7.  If you find you create conflict at the same time or place in your home, start clearing the patterns by noticing it and stopping it. For example, if you always fight about money in the evening in the bedroom, agree not to recreate that again. Talk about money Saturday morning as you go for a walk together. Set an intention. It will be a harmonious, successful experience.

8. For husbands, offer to take the kids for a few hours next Saturday, and give your wife a gift certificate to her favorite place to be pampered.

9. For wives, take your sexual experience off your to-do list. In my therapy practice I have worked with many wives who feel having sex with their husband is a chore and just one more thing “to-do” like making dinner, or bathing the kids, etc. If you choose to participate in sex, do it first for yourself and choose to really enjoy it. You will offer more to your husband in a positive experience with this fresh mindset.

10.   Play together often. Take a trip for just the two of you once a year.

Many people who have been married several years begin to take their marriage and their spouse for granted. Bad habits and lazy attitudes that would have never been acted out in their courtship days have taken over.

How fresh and vital is your marriage?

How much respect, tenderness, and unconditional love do you exemplify toward your spouse daily? Marriage is a sacred relationship that demands constant attention on our part in order to thrive.

Marriage is our modern-day temple, which we enter into to bring up all of our issues so we can be purified and return to a state of wholeness. Add to the beauty and reverence of your marriage by treating yourself and your spouse as someone special that you humbly revere and adore, because that is who you both truly are. Sanctify your marriage with God’s help and it can be one of your greatest treasures on earth.

Purchase a copy of Carol’s best-selling audio seminar Marital Bliss and receive a FREE copy of her popular e-book 20 Tips for Husbands and Wives to Enhance and Save Their Marriage.  Or visit The Carol Tuttle Healing Center, an interactive Web site that utilizes these techniques for clearing with literally hundreds of issues.

CLICK HERE to review all of Carol’s life-changing books, CDs and DVDs.

Is your heart open? Do you feel safe letting others connect with you at the heart? Do you feel heartbroken and sad at times? Are you still waiting for true love to manifest even though you may already be in a relationship? Your heart center is powerful and strong; you may just have it closed due to unnecessary fears. This session will open your heart chakra and clear those fears. Watch out world! Your love and the love of others is only going to keep growing and growing! Learn more from Carol’s Chakra Master Home Study Course by clicking here.

In this week’s mini-healing session, I am joined by Jessica who has a fear and anxiety about dating and relationships so bad that she gets terrible anxiety and makes herself physically sick over the thought of dating. Are you feeling unfulfilled or desperate in your relationship and/or marriage?

Do this session along with us and WOW, watch your fear and limiting beliefs fly out the window! After you do this session you will shift into an energy that will support you in creating relationships that are amazing, fulfilling, and mutually supportive…go for it!

I want this for you.

For more online video healing session with me, go to http://www.youremotionalhealing.com.

I also recommend you read my book “Remembering Wholeness” to help you create the life you deserve; just go to http://www.caroltuttle.com

When we get upset by something someone else says or does, we popularly refer to it as “pushing our buttons!”  The automatic reflex we experience is “it is happening to me!”  We focus on the other person and tend to complain and blame that their behavior and choices are a problem that is causing us this unhappiness.  But why do some people push our buttons and others do not?  Why are we all not “bothered” by the same things?

Here is why.

When someone pushes our emotional buttons, the deeper belief it is showing us is, “I can’t be myself, they have more power than me, and I am powerless to say or do anything. Or, what they are doing or choosing is not okay based on my beliefs of what is right and wrong.”

Let’s talk about the first part of the sentence above, “I can’t be myself, they have more power than me, and I am powerless to say or do anything.”

This all goes back to our childhood when someone who we perceived to be an authority figure sent us the message, it’s not okay for you to be you, and we bought in to it and took on that lie.

So when people show up of the same Type (based on the 4 Types of my Energy Profiling system) as that original authority figure, because we have not released that original energetic imprint, we go into defense mode and at deeper level believe we are powerless.

Rather than going inward to find the true source of the imbalance we keep our focus outward and try and find relief in blaming and complaining about the person! We are believing “this is happening to me.”  It never works, and we will only continue to experience more of the same and it usually intensifies.

The real power is switching the belief, “this is happening to me,” TO “this is happening BECAUSE of me.” The because relates to the cause of the emotional upset is held on our belief systems and emotional patterning developed from these early events in life.

The real power lies in going within, connecting with the original event, the original shame and asking God to heal us from it.  The more we do this, the more we are aligned with The Divine and the fewer people push our buttons.

It takes real commitment as we usually have multiple opportunities to do this each day.  It is something I am personally very committed to.  When my buttons do get pushed I tell myself it is just information that I am giving myself that I have some power to open up and I can only do it with God’s help! And then I do the exercise.

If you want support in opening these old energy imprints, I highly recommend The Carol Tuttle Healing Center where you will find online video session with me helping you clear these deeper emotional distortions that are causing you to experience imbalances in yourself and as a result your relationships.

If you really grasp what I am sharing here and choose to practice this, you have just learned one of the most important and powerful things I could teach you on this blog.  I encourage you to read this many times as it will be expanded in your understanding as you do and you will see a HUGE shift in your relationships to become more joy-filled because you will be reflecting the joy you hold internally back at yourself!

The Carol Tuttle Healing Center is the most valuable resource available in aiding you in learning these processes.  Her interactive website is a goldmine of training tools and healing sessions that are sure to get results.  Visit The Carol Tuttle Healing Center now.  A 3-day trial is only $3.95 to allow you to see if it is right for you.

Our energies are magnetic in nature. Emotion is energy in motion. We can attract energy to us — including the energy of people we do not even know — when we are not safeguarded from it.

Children process a lot of negative energy for their parents. If you are feeling stressed, your child is intuitively aware of that and can play a role of trying to “please” or “act-out” in response to the negative energy you are running.

Children are also susceptible to picking up negative emotional energy from others at school.  This technique will help keep your children free from picking up negative, stressful energy.

The Zip-Up

One of the mind/body energy systems that is working for us continually is called your meridian pathways. Our meridian energy flows are like energy arteries that run around and through our body. They are energy highways and when they are blocked, heavy, or running too much energy for us, it affects our health in a negative way.

One of your primary energy meridians is called your central meridian.

Your central meridian is one of your primary energy pathways that runs from your pubic bone up to your bottom lip. It is like a radio receiver that channels other people’s negative thoughts and emotions into you. Pretend you have a zipper running up your torso between these two points. Zip up your central meridian, starting at your pubic bone until you reach your bottom lip. Zipping up your central meridian will “zip-up” your energy.

You will feel more confident and positive about yourself and your world, think more clearly, and protect yourself from the negative energies around you. Zip up your children before they go to school.

Purchase a copy of Carol’s best-selling audio seminar Intentional Parenting: Raising Conscious Children that Understand and Use the Laws of Creation.

The Carol Tuttle Healing Center, is an interactive Web site utilizing these techniques for clearing literally hundreds of issues.